If I laugh myself to sleep,
you'd ask if I was alright.
If I wake up, I'm already in a fight.
Something is wrong,
somethings are gone.
Something is lost.
I felt wierd, you knew I held you dear.
I feel like I'm dying,
burning inside me.
You tell me I'm lying,
you think that I'm hiding.
I think you knew.
Something is wrong,
somethings are gone.
Something is..... lost
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140,196 Literary Works • 673,040 Reviews
It was simple and nice.it was kind of straight forward,so you can get the message easily.
Keep writing and posting!
~Shine~
I liked this poem, and I it was a little broad but over all the reader gets the message.
.
Simple, but I think you could have gone somewhere more with it if it didn't seem so, I don't want to say cosnstricted, but cut off by the rhyme scheme?
I mean Rhyme scheme can work, but it seems like their were things that could be have been...not explained but elaborated on? I hate telling people to change things in poetry because that's how they felt it and it was written that way...but it's like...I don't know, I enjoyed it for what it was though